After several years of hard work and going out and applying to several competitions, I finally got a promotion! Not only did I get a promotion, I got it by pure merit, I went through several written exams and multiple face to face interviews.
Jealousy reared its ugly head
Co-workers I had been working for over a decade started acting strange and aloof, instead of being happy for this joyous event in my life, they wanted to piss on it. These were people I went to Christmas dinners and after work drinking binges with. In the end they left me with the feeling that they were not my friends but literally my enemies. We all have been jealous at one point in time but in the end jealousy is non-productive and colossal waste of energy.
What are some of the traits that can help us from becoming jealous?
If you are comfortable with who you are as an individual and know where you are heading in life, then there is no reason to be jealous. You don’t need to feel inadequate to others, you are going on your path and you are totally sure of yourself. Other people can be successful, so what? You can be too.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
While it is important to see how you measure up against others to help measure your performance and determine goals, going overboard is going to consume you. Keeping track of who did what and if you are better is going to tire you out.
Seeking approval from other people
I’ve found that some people have to get a pat on the back, if they don’t get that ‘pat’ their lack of self-worth shows. Their feelings get hurt and they resent you bad, then comes the jealousy, ‘he got an award and I didn’t’. It’s great to get recognition from others, but to want it constantly can be a problem.
Celebrate others’ successes
Celebrating others’ success is healthy, you will be respected for being genuine. When the time comes they may reciprocate and that can only give you good vibes all around.
Associate with right crowd
Surrounding yourself with people who think like you and have integrity will create a good environment. Who wants to have people with crab mentality all around you. Find the right people, size them up and decide ultimately if you want to have them in your life.
If you find yourself getting jealous, take a moment and see why you are feeling like this. Stop yourself from going overboard and focus on yourself and how good you really are, you will realize that jealousy is not worth it.
Almost 3 yrs ago my son was born. A tiny little thing weighing less than 8 lbs. Prior to that, I was living a pretty busy life with lots to do. I never thought this little bundle of joy would put my timetable in disarray but it did.
The worry free days were behind me, the first few months of parenthood was all about helping this tiny thing with his mama get through life as smooth and safe as possible. Then around the 6 month mark it became a habit or addiction. I began to micro parent, hovering over every move he made. Not good, but I wanted to be part of his life, I wanted to be there for him and it was the only way I knew how.
Fast forward to near his 3rd birthday, I see myself continuing the same pattern, I need to stop. He is bigger now, starting to talk, even potty training, I need to let up. My baby needs time on his own and I do to. The last 3 yrs haven’t been kind to my health. I barely visited the gym, and my legs and muscles are not as flexible as they used to be. I need to take care of myself, I need to do it for my son. I want to be around when he is older, I can’t have him pushing me around in a wheelchair and being a burden on him, something every parent dreads.
So what am I going to do? I can’t let go that easily. I enjoy his company a lot, but it’s time do things on my own .Maybe start back on hobbies, go to the movies and head back to the gym. The excuse of having little ‘baby’ has become less. A balanced and healthy life is needed for all of us.
If you are a parent going through this cycle or coming out of it, let me know, leave your comments below!
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